Saturday, November 17, 2007
This morning at 6am while I was on my way to work, I thought of my Dad. I love my dad with all my heart but there is something that makes our relationship special. My dad and my mom meet when I was 3, and have been together ever sense. Most people don't know that my dad is not my biological dad, and I am not embarrassed or hesitate to let people know, because he is more of a father to me, than I could have ever asked for if I designed it myself. I do not remember my Biological father, he left when I was little, and if he walked in the room right now, I wouldn't know him. Growing up, I would wonder every once in a while were he was, why he left, wondered what he may be like. I don't think of him often, I think it is because I don't feel a lose. Don't get me wrong, I still wonder sometimes. I think that is only natural, but I have found something better, or really he found me.
Not having a father can leave a huge hole in you that people try to fill with so many different things, drugs, sex, money, material things. I never felt this way, and it is because of an amazing man. If this is something that people sometimes can't get over, I figure that my dad is so amazing that he is the reason that I don't feel lost for not knowing my biological father.
My mom is the most amazing mother and wife, and I see the way my dad loves her, and it makes me love him even more. My dad is always expressing his love for my mother and for us. He tells me all the time how amazing my mom is. He loves Adam like his own son. And his grandkids are his world. We have to go over sometimes just so he can get his grandkid fix. My parents recently went to Florida alone, and they said they were so board, they both love being with there family, and said next time we will all be going together.
There are certain people in your life that you never doubt there love for you.
A few weeks ago Pastor did a sermon on forgiveness. It made me think. Have I forgiven my Biological Father. I thought about it, forgiveness is really the only thing I have struggled with about him not being there. I do forgive him. If he hadn't done what he did, then I would not have the wonderful dad I have now. My parents have shown me love, and nothing can ever replace that. I would never want to replace that. Nothing could replace the memories we have had as a family.
I remember when he came home when I was little and told my mom to pack our things we were going to Opry Land for the weekend, that was so much fun.
I remember when we danced at my wedding, that was such a special time for me.
I remember when he was baptized one year ago. That moment was the most amazing moment. When my dad started going to Church a little over 2 years ago I never thought I could ever get him in a church, let alone that he would be baptized. He would tell me that he loved going to church, but that he didn't need to be baptized because he was baptized as an infant. It was to my surprise when he told me that he would be baptized with my sister and niece, just the way is was designed my the big man upstairs. He was baptized with the most important things to him, his children and grandchildren. I wept as he gave his declaration that Jesus is the Lord of his life. That was huge, and answered prayer. Those are one of the prayers that you pray to live right and do what ever you can just so that God will grant that one prayer, to Baptize my dad, and it happened. I couldn't imagine when I prayed that how i could feel that day.
I compare my heavenly Fathers love to my Dads love for me. He loves me no matter what. I remind my self that God loves me more that my dad, and I know how much my dad loves me, so that is amazing.
I love my dad so much, and I think I love him more because he didn't have to be there, he could have said I don't' want two kids that aren't mine, I am not ready for kids. Instead he loved me mother so much, and in turn he loved us, and I can be sure of his love for me. He loved me by choice and that is more than anyone can ask for. I will never doubt his love for me, and that is the greatest feeling.