Wednesday, August 31, 2011

stronger

Before





After 1 Year





It is amazing the difference a year and some hard work can make. One year ago I was struggling with depression. I was in a pit, and I had decorated it. I needed sometime to focus on me so that I could be better for my family. I had lost myself in what I thought was a mess. A friend of mine was posting on her Facebook about this "Bootcamp" that she was going too. I was curious. I checked out the website and asked her about it, and she had nothing but great things to say about it. I didn't even think, I signed up for 6 months. If I would have thought about it, I probably would have talked myself out of it. I had no idea at all what was about to happen to me. To be honest, I didn't even believe in myself that I would stick with it. You see I had never stuck to any diet or excersice plan before. When i signed up, I had about 3 weeks before the next phase started. We went on a family vacation, and the whole time I was self-conscious about how I looked, and in all the pictures I was so hard on myself about how I looked. I hated that I was focusing on that instead of having a fun time with my family.



At orientation I weighed in at 200.5 lbs. That was a high for me. I was unhealthy, and unhappy. The first day of boot camp I was so scared. I will never forget. Me and about 30 other women stood in a circle outside and had to do squats, and pushups among other things. One person in the circle would do a squat and hold it in the squat position until it went all the way around the cirle and back at them, then you did another squat, we did the same with other exercises, and that was just the warm up. My goal was to not die that day. During the workout (which was in an open gym with no AC in the beginning of September. It was HOT.) I remember telling myself to make it through the hour and I’d never have to come back, I would quit even though I still had to pay for 6 months. This amazing thing happened, I survived. I had to keep myself from throwing up all the way home and when I walked in the house I fell to the ground. I never wanted to do that again. But the next morning I woke up wanting to-do it again. You might think I am crazy. But I had a huge sense of accomplishment. The next week was tough as I started on a new diet. Food seemed to be all I could think about all day every day that week. I wondered how I was going to be able to do it, if it was going to be that hard. Sure it was hard, but I did it. Each step along the way I have learned that when there was something I didn’t think I could do, I did it. Talk about motivating. My goal went from not dying, to holding a plank position, to being able to do a pushup, to being able to do an exploding pushup. I went from weighing 200.5 lbs. and not wanting to tell anyone, ever; to weighing 164 lbs. and not being afraid to tell you my weight. I was able to wear a belt I hadn't been able to wear in a while and now I am on the 4th hole in my belt. I went from a size 16 to a size 10. I went on vacation this year and didn't focus on the fact that technically I am still over weight, but that fact that we had a great time and I felt great. I ran 2 miles with my husband and kicked butt doing it. I went from using the 8 lb. weights at boot camp to the keg! You see I went from no physical activity to what I just mentioned. I remember before bootcamp going for a run/walk in my neighborhood with my husband and going home feeling defeating because I couldn't do it.



I have developed a new lifestyle. I have learned that I can go on vacation and come back and keep going. I can fall off the wagon by giving into that cookie, but it doesn't mean I failed, I just get back on track. I had to stop looking at everything I was doing wrong and look at everything I was doing right. I always heard that a better diet and exercise will do wonders for your mood. I never believed it, until I experienced it myself. I didn’t need an anti-depressant; I needed to eat right and exercise. I physically feel better than I have in a long time. I have more energy. I can walk out to my car after work and not feel out of breath. I can make it threw a tough workout and be able to say “I did it!”



If you have or are stuggeling with something, keep pushing forward. Dont be afraid to take that step, don't look back, and don't even think about quiting, failure is not an option. I am sure some of my friends and family got tired of hearing about bootcamp, but it wasn't a phase, this lifestyle is a part of me. I had to pass on dinner with friends or tell my kids we would see the movie the next night because I had bootcamp. I made a commitment, and I wanted to put it first. Sure there were times I missed bootcamp so I could attend something my kids had or a special event, but I wanted to make this a priority. If you want it bad enough you need to make it a priority. I did make sacrifices, but it has been so worth it.



If you would have told me a year ago that it would have taking me a year to lose 36 lbs., back then I probably would have said that isn’t enough. Now, I am like, man that wasn’t bad, what’s next. I am so glad I didn’t make more excuses to keep putting it off. If I had, I wouldn’t have made as much progress as I have. I have had to work hard to get this far, which makes it easier to pass on that cookie and get the fruit instead. I didn't work that hard to eat the cookie, and stay the way I was. Since starting boot camp I have learned I am stronger physically and mentally than I thought I was. I learned I can do more than I thought I was capable of, and I can make it through when I didn’t see a way. What I have gained this past year can’t be explained in words. I love it! I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.





6 comments:

*Beckie* said...

Hi there! I am a new follower and am so excited to have found this blog! This is such an incredible story and I am sadly going through my own battle. I had originally lost 60 pounds of weight but sadly have gained back 10 and am now stuck in a depression and rut. I feel motivated by your story and feel like hey, maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you for posting this, I may be coming back and reading the same post form time to time but I need all the motivation I can get :)

Angela Rivera said...

Hi Beckie, thanks for your kind words. I encourage you to write something about your own journey. Sometimes we just need reminding of how far we have come and what great a job we have done. We are so hard on ourselves. Keep moving on and let me know how you are doing.
Angela

Kim said...

Thank you for keeping this posted. I have been depressed and know first hand of how hard it is to crawl out of that pit. Thankfully that pit caused me to accept Christ 7 years ago and I found freedom in learning that I cannot do anything alone. It is in Christ's strength that I can do all things. I hope that you read comments, as I really would like to have a conversation with you. Your before and after photos show a smile that says it all. Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Your sister in Christ - Kim from KS.

Nouveaute said...

nice!!!

Anni said...

Congrats!! You look awesome!

Happy Holidays :)

Anni (your newest follower)

http://grapefruitprincess.blogspot.com/

~DANyELLE~ said...

You look FABOLOUS and it inspire sme in my journey. Big time thanks for sharing!